all better now.

********

you see, it's like this:

i kept letting go of the rotten feelings

that were stuck to me

like sticky black tar, 

let go of them, 

waiting for something to fill me up. 

after much crying and praying

and gnashing of teeth 

[not really....the gnashing part, that is]

it hit me: 
words a friend quoted from 

anne truitt's "daybook"....

* i notice that i have to pay careful attention 

in order to listen to others with an openness 

that allows them to be as they are, 

or as they think themselves to be....

this....is love, is the honoring of others 

in a way that grants them the grace 

of their own autonomy and allows mutual discovery. * 

[~ anne truitt: daybook]

 so: 

those words and others spoken to me,

totally unrequested 

but so needed by my soul,

these words given to me through others,
with a measure of grace

from the universal stream....

i played them over and over in my mind.

then it struck me:

i make my own joy. or not. 

i make my own joy. or not. 

with that:

i headed out for a chai latte. 

there was my wee woodland sprite:

she spoke the same words to my soul. 

********

then, i headed home: 

a stop at the library to cover a new book.

 [mrs. viens pondering the size of protective cover needed....] 

yes: 

it's all better now. 

all days are good. 

i have what i need

and

i want what i have. 

********