yanking my heart from the mire.

 ****

this old world keeps on spinning, and life goes on around me. 

i am so keenly aware of this fact as i view tiny vignettes, 

scenes of love and softness captured in my mind's eye, settling in my senses,

 while my heart remains a tad bit crumpled at its edges. 

****

my lovely neighbour, standing, reading her morning newspaper from where
she retrieved it at the edge of the road, 
just standing here, enjoying the quiet of the morning
she said, 
as i slow the jeep, rolling down the window to greet her. 


a fat-belly robin, skitter-hopping across the verdant green of my yard
as i pulled into the drive. 


chatting on the phone with mister pencilfox as he is dip-netting with his buddies
"down on the copper"….
listening to his hearty laughter, hearing the joy that keeps that boat afloat. 


****

life goes on around me as i yank my heart-deep-in-grief spirit from this mire of sorrow.
i pray to feel differently, 
and i am feeling just a bit more alive due to the love of mister pencilfox
and all of you, my dear friends….


********


postscript: 
mister pencilfox and i will be going to the local shelter this weekend, 
checking out 
which kitty 
calls me to 'im….

****

post postscript:
[pardon me while i wax philosophically....]
i've been thinking upon this phenomenon, pondering how it came to be
that angelo buttertoast jones became such a central figure in my life,
how he came to be a guiding light,
a compass,
for my being.
i am sure at this point that he truly was my soulmate,
the one who helped me develop inner strength,
showing me the path to owning my power.
he was the cartographer of the map of our lives together. 
now it is up to me to adopt another kitty from the shelter,
and be its companion on this journey of life.


********