dog days, cat days.

******

We have been under the spell of 

very cold temperatures

but

hey

this is Alaska, after all. 

For many days we have seen felt -28.8C/-20F during the dark of night,

rising to a daytime high of -26.1C/-15F, 

maybe a bit warmer at times, 

but, really, the thermometer has been hanging 

right around there. 

As I compose this journal entry, I am listening to favourite music, 

singing along, 

the house very quiet, 

Ziggy Starfire Atlas Bacon Jones, Master Thief Extraordinaire

lounging on a pillow with all his stuffed buddies next to him. 

Last week it was confirmed that Ziggy has a tumour in his bladder. 

We still to date do not know the cellular composition of this thing invading his body,

but we do know surgery is not in his future. 

With prescribed medication keeping him sleeping soundly at night,

he lodges himself up next to me, 

the tiny bundle of warmth and tangled dredlock fur

that he has become since he retired from a life of Service. 

I love him. 

I love him. 

And, Milo?? 

He goes outdoors [avec leash] to check the weather, 

to check the birds at the feeder,

spending only seconds out in the cold, 

fluffing his stuff

on his way back into the house. 

I can say with some certainty

I miss snowshoe'ing

[because I am not going out there in the frostbite cold] 

but I am also enjoying learning to

sit

and 

be

and knit socks. 

I was gifted with a beautiful pile of sock yarns

and I am learning the difference between sock and fingering yarns. 

Another thing I have learned 

is

I like feeling that I am building something, 

something with detail, 

something with structure. 

And that is where I am these days,

learning that I am back to the basics of prayer, 
firming up the boundaries of my heart, 

often and frequently repeating loosely paraphrased words 

that bring me comfort and focus:

This is the only moment I need to be worried about. 

There's no yesterday. 

There's no tomorrow. 

There's just right now. 

I'm not late for anything. 

I'm not gonna miss anything. 

I'm exactly where I am supposed to be, 

and I'm exactly who I am supposed to be. 

I am absolutely perfect, 

and whatever happens today 

is exactly what's supposed to happen. 

It's a good life, 

and I go forward, 

one foot in front of the other,

doing what works for me 

because if I don't know how to love myself

I cannot love anyone else. 

****