The Roller Coaster of Life.

******

This book. 

It is almost ended, but the read has been so full of beauty and tragedy and lessons on life, 

I do not want it to end. 

I have been suffering from symptoms of cervical problems, 

and yes, 

I am seeking medical attention. 

But mostly, help has come to me in the form of sitting on the deck, 

reading wonderfully-written words, 

realizing this neck situation goes much deeper than what presents. 

I have long held my words and feelings, 

not releasing them to those for whom they are intended 

nor am I able to wrap them in prettiness and ribbons to decrease their sting. 

I don’t always believe 

“it’s all good” 

nor do I subscribe to 

“let it all go.” 

Some things cannot be solved by simply blowing them into the breeze. 

My anger is deep-seated and 

it is the vehiculum that helps me honour what I believe I have lost. 

Or so I tell myself. 

Peace is coming to me here, in this rocking chair, amongst my deckgarden, 
the pack lying around in the quiet of here and now. 

Peace is coming to me and infusing the structure of my soul’s temple 

as I learn this huge long-coming lesson: 

I ain’t in charge.

Something bigger than me is in charge.

Silence is allowing my soul to speak what my heart needs to hear. 

Somehow, I believe Ziggy Starfire Atlas Bacon Peapod Jones has all the answers. 

He just won't tell me any of them yet. 

Not yet......

****