My Moon in Cancer.

 

*****

I give myself some space between photos and script in order to allow 

thoughts

and

feelings

to flow. 

This is the first day of a new year. 

Most folks want to be over and done with the year that ended last night, 

but, yet, 

I feel the deep and indelible imprint on my soul of a year gone by, 

so I cannot simply sweep it under the rug. 

The end of December marked another year 'round the Sun for me. 

It seems fitting that celebration of a new year looking forward 

is a celebration of a year gone by. 

I mentioned last night to Mister Pencilfox I had not stayed awake 

to see-in a New Year in many years. 

He said 

that's because you were always working on this night, for many years. 

True that. 

Last night I sat a'bed pencil'ing into my journal, 

addressing prompts on life and what is different for me now

and why. 

As I wrote, a realization was given to me. 

I had just completed an entry about how I had set-down my knitting

for ten months’ time. 

It has taken me two months' time to have a desire to once again pick up needles and yarn. 

Mostly I have been dodging doing any artisanal work in the two months

since Ziggy went Home, my excuse being 

I cannot sit still

or

I need to go outside

or 

[not speaking the next to anyone out loud, only as a whisper to myself] 

I need to go up the Hill to see Zig.  

Last night's realization is this: 

my world became quite small as I tended to Ziggy's needs. 

It was me and him, 

and more often than not, 

me 'n' him 'n' Pintō. 

 I am learning once again how to knit, how to hold needles, which yarns work best 

for what I am knitting. 

More importantly, I am learning to acknowledge and honour my own wants

and desires. 

Meaning, what sort of yarns do I prefer to handle? 

What size of needle do I like? 

I am learning from a beginning. 

And, learning from a beginning also means I can open back up my world once again. 

I can choose who and what. 

And why. 

And that's just where I am on this first day of a new month within a new year. 

*

It's a good life. 

*****