week 2: now you :: backstory.

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do you see it? 
i felt it. 
that uncomfortableness, the twisted tweaking of my skeleton. 
the pain: it's always there. 
i want to heal. so badly. 
for about a month now: i cry. i sob. giant boohoo tears. 
i'm so tired of this nagging discomfort. 
some days are good. 
but that's when i've pay'd strict attention 
to what goes into my body.
i cannot even have that sweet treat or yummy snack 
or piece of bread. 
my chai lattes are limited: that's the hardest part. 
what happens next? 
healing. pure and simple. 
being honest with myself. 
not just white-lie honest but cash-register honest. 
i'll see if it leads me back to wholesomeness 
and feeling good again.

i still can look in the mirror and say 
"you're one good-lookin' gal" 
and mean it. 
even with the grimace of pain written all over my face. 
no pun intended: this really is a "back story" for me.

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Comments

M+ said…
oh darling-
i surely get it! the only way to go is as slowly or as quickly as you can muster!

most likely when you start feeling better you'll find the changes easier. some of it will start to become habit as you adjust to the newness of it.

go easy on yourself. sending hugs.
MrsLittleJeans said…
That is tough being so sensitive to sweets and yummy snacks...I eat a lot more of those when it is overcast and it has been so for three days. The sun better come out here. I assume you are getting a lot of vitamin D. xx
pencilfox said…
i accept your hugs and send one back to you. xx
pencilfox said…
gee. i've gone one whole day without sweets. treats will be in the form of berries in the salad....
xx
Mel said…
Oh Foxy. Sending love and healing thoughts.
AppaloosaMoon said…
Heavens my dear soul sister...I had no idea of your pain & agony. I'm so sorry you feel this way & can only hope you manage yourself out of it & into a place of health & comfort. I know you have the strength & courage to do what it is you need to do...no matter the challenge.

The Silent Monks visited me today! They, of course, had zip/nada/zilch to say, but they are awfully good at staring...thank goodness they carried a note from YOU! Everybody needs a rock, or two! XO