waiting for the feeling to hit.

********

i now know that i am not alone in this feeling i feel, 

this inability to enjoy christmas. 

every year as "christmas" rolls around,
as others are hustling and bustling and making merry, 

as others beat the concrete to purchase gifts:

my spirit retreats to the sanctuary of its wintry crystalline soul, 

trying to figure it all out. 

and don't i say this every so often? :: 
i don't do well trying to figure things out.

so i sit and drink tea and write in the journal, pouring my thoughts and feelings

onto paper:
each and every day should be christmas.
each and every day we should tell our loved ones "i love you"
and buy them gifts
and sing songs
and make merry.

you know:
life is good.
every day.
not just christmas.

********