these days.

********

somedays i just need to be lazy. 

this is my first full year of going autumn-into-winter retired not having to work

outside the pencilfox home. 

i don't know when to go to bed, i don't know when to sleep, 

i don't know when to wake. 

so i do this :: 

go to bed when i feel like it 

and

wake when my body has had enough sleep. 

please understand, i am not complaining. 

i wish everyone i know and love could live life this way. 

but, plain and simple, i pay'd my dues, and now it's my time to pay attention

to what i need and want. 

[still, i wish for everyone i know and love to be able to live life this way.] 

i've felt caught up in a conundrum. 

i've felt trapped in the vortex of figuring it all out. 

i have yet another injury INSULT to my body, 

this clay vessel which houses my spirit, 

this bag of bones that has pounded one-too-many concrete floor

while tending to the physical needs of others. 

i'm really baffled at this thing called age.

i don't really feel any one particular number of age and i certainly don't feel old.

yet, this old skeleton is wearing out. 

so i do what gives me pleasure ::

i sleep when i want. 

i wake when my body has had enough rest. 

or, i wake when the animals tell me i have had enough rest. 

and the rest of the day is filled with whatever. 

*

on a recent television news show, there was an episode about 
two brothers which have taught the local baltimore school kids to meditate. 
the children begin each day with a bit of yoga and meditation. 
what i took away from that was this :: 
worrying about the past causes anger. 
worrying about the future causes anxiety.
meditation helps one focus on the present, which is all there really is. 

*

it's a good life. 

it really is......

******