It's the 13th of February.

*********

Today is the 13th of February. 

Today is the one-year anniversary of adopting Berry. 

Because he was relinquished at the animal shelter with no information offered, 

I decided to choose his birthday as the day we gave him a home.

I went to sleep last night knowing that I would want to make a fuss over 

my new wee doggie. 

I had been telling him all day yesterday 

tomorrow is your birthday. 

*

This morning, 

I woke early, 

too early to want to be a productive citizen of the universe 

or even 

a wakeful member of life in this house. 

Don't get me wrong: 

I love my life in this family, in this household, 

and often I am completely overtaken with gratitude for how good life is. 

But, after living through September's illness that almost took me off this sphere, 

working through healing my CNS inflammation, 

sleep is one of my treatments, 

one of my medicines. 

I very much feel the effects of being short of sleep. 

After waking too early this morning, 

I glanced at the clock, 

applied some of my favourite plant essence oil, 

and 

rolled over to meditate and relax back into sleep. 

I dreamt of Ziggy. 

I still grieve his absence from my side. 

Yet, I strongly feel his presence. 

He is spirit. 

He sleeps in the forest, but his spirit is with me. 

His physical form had to give up the ghost

because his body was failing. 

I dreamt this morning that the back half of his body deflated, 

and I was carrying him everywhere because he could not walk.

Half of him was empty of form. 

He was still my Zig, but life was gone from that half of him. 

I was looking him over for some way to re-inflate him. 

There was no valve..... I thought if I could find where to breathe air back into him

he would inflate 

and he could walk again. 

But, there was no valve. 

There was no aperture, 

no opening where I could breathe form back into his limp body. 

And then I knew. 

It was time to release him. 

It was time to release him. 

And then, 

I woke. 

*

Today I carried a velvet ribbon tucked into my pocket

as I snowshoe'd Coyote Hill. 

I wanted to give Ziggy another flag, as it were. 

Something from me, for him, 

something to catch the wind where he sleeps in the forest. 

I talked to him as I tied it to the stake marking his site of repose. 

A gentle wind caught it

and it fluttered as I whispered prayers in my prayer flag forest. 

And, then, 

I returned home to fry bacon for Berry's birthday celebration. 

*****