all this and peace, too.

 

*****

This morning I sat in the quiet as the rest of the family slept and snored their way through early morning dreams. I sat and pencil'd morning pages. 

I have missed writing morning pages. 

There is such clarity in the early morning quiet. Thoughts and feelings flow and I pencil them onto blank journal pages. When all done and my mind empty of words, I grabbed my coat, pulled on my boots, leashed-up the cat, called the dogs to me, and off we went, up Coyote Hill and into the prayer flag forest. 

As I walked away from where I sat in the forest for a while, the thought occurred to me 

"this is the first time I have felt pure peace, sitting there, not wondering all I used to question about the timing of Zig's death and did I do the right thing and was he OK with everything that has transpired." 

Yeah. 

One long run-on sentence-thought in my mind. 

I have felt much peace the past couple of days, after being prompted to ask myself 

"what do I want??" 

I have given it much consideration. 

I have given it much space in my new sapphire blue journal. 

And, now it all lives in my heart, where blood and love and faithfulness glue it together as 

this is what I want.

Maybe that's where the peace comes in. 

Maybe. 

I don't know. 

But this I do know: 

I got me some peace today. 

And it feels quite good. 

****