a week of magic.

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and i say this because: 

this was a week of hell. 

and then it all turned around.

i won't give you the particulars, 

but let's just visit some words from one of my favourite authors, anne lamott:

" i thought such awful thoughts that i cannot even say them out loud because they would make jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish." 

i'm a reactor. 

if i were nuclear, i'd blow us all to smithereens. 

a few good things came out of it all, though. 

i examined my thoughts and actions and decided i would start speaking truth, 

not only to mister pencilfox, but to friends and co-workers. 

not hurtfully, but honestly, even if my voice shakes. 

somewhere in the midst of all the sorrow and tears came the realization as to 

why my sacroiliac joint twists and shouts: 

while laying in bed, holding my sweet boy angelo and whispering heartwords

into the fuzz of his neck, 

while sobbing and feeling all yuck, 

i felt those thoughts empty out from the pit of despair to travel from the nape of my neck

to my iliac crests, 

causing a multi-vehicle pile-up along the crystal lattice highway. 

muscles spasm'd and tissues tensed and i felt the immediate reaction of

thought into body. 

of course the local chiropractor thinks i am an emotional paradox. 

i knew, i knew, that something had to change. 

and something did:

as i vow'd to speak truth, my soul whisper'd a silent prayer, 

and the answer was to look outside. 

not only outside myself 

but truly outside. 

so, today:

the sun shines. 

all heaven and nature sing their crystal song. 

life is good. 

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