a two-part day.

after cleaning our three-story house today:

there was the sudden realization

that

sunshine awaited me outdoors.

i felt the need for flowers.

mister pencilfox, ziggy, and pinto

and i

all loaded up

for the nursery adventure.

petunias of the colour of midnight.

dianthus.

the sweet little clerk said "oh....magenta...."

[she looked too young to know such a vintage word.] 

[sweet little perennial stars....]

four pots were hung around the deck.

the fifth pot: for the book shed.

it's not just a shed:

it's a hideaway

for me

and for you.  

and then: 

i buried my old friend pluckie.

he died on the summer solstice of 2004

so it wasn't like he was freshly lay'd in the grave today.

there really wasn't anything to bury:

his bones are now part of the earth.

but:

when mister pencilfox pushed the road through the property

he covered up my dear friend's site.

i cried bitter tears.

i cried new tears for an old passing.

then i told myself:

mister pencilfox does the best he can

to make our lives so much better.

better than i could ever imagine.

he had given me time to gather up all the rocks

that were on pluckie's grave:

petrified wood and bricks

and

slabs of fossils

and large eggs of granite.

maybe it's because i am the daughter

of a tombstone carver. 

maybe it's just because i'm so close to the earth.

but:

i love rocks.

when the federal government moved me

lock

stock 

and barrel

from montana to alaska

the movers said

"we've never 'moved' as many books and rocks as you have."

when i leave this sphere:

that's all that will be left of me.

that's what will be passed around to those who want

a memory of me: 

books.

rocks. 

and precious silver jewelry

lay'd with bezeled stones. 

i wander this acreage

and

pause at any of the many sitting areas.

i fought hard for this land.

for this piece of property.

i gave my heart

and

my soul

and

many tears

and

even a bit of blood.

that's all while creating necessary distance

from that other guy.

and so:

now.

life is good.

mister pencilfox

is the love of my life

even though

at times i must walk away

with tears in my eyes.

"this too shall pass"

i tell myself.

life is so good.

so very very good.

********